Stupidity comes with Regret
by mysassygirl
Summary: I saw her pain. I saw her sufferings. I saw everything and yet I didn’t do anything to help her. Now that she's gone and never coming back, I regret not helping her. [OneShot]


A/N: I hope you guys would like this. I hope also that you guys would read my other one-shot fics. Losing her and Room of Requirements. I would really appreciate all the reviews. Tell me if they're not good or it they are good. I don't really mind any criticism. That's part of being an author right? Well I have this other story called Blue sky but it's not a one-shot. I'm still trying to finish that. Well, thanks to those who would read this.

I saw her pain. I saw her sufferings. I saw everything and yet I didn't do anything to help her. I was stupid I admit it; I never helped her whenever she asked for it. Now that she's gone, it's my entire fault.

It's been 2 years since I started to observe her in the shadows. I know it gave her the creeps whenever she's patrolling in the night, because she's Head Girl, and someone seems to stalk her. I remember seeing her shocked face knowing that it was only I. I also remember how she nagged me for about an hour saying that she could've died in fear. I chuckled and said that I didn't care. Oh how wrong of me. I knew it wasn't true. No matter how I denied it, I cared for her, more than anything else in the world.

I tried to recall about the time she asked for me for help. I didn't listen to her and I even insulted her. I couldn't believe how stupid I was. I remember seeing her like it happened just yesterday.

_Flashback_

"_I need your help," she said softly while tears flowed out of her eyes._

_I looked taken back at what she said. I wanted to hug her and push away the tears that she shed. I wanted to speak to her lovingly and help her. But I didn't. I didn't hug her nor pushed her tears. I didn't speak to her lovingly and help her. I didn't know what made me do it but I did. I smirked at her._

"_What made you think I would help you, mudblood?" I said with pure disgust in my voice._

_She looked at me wide-eyed. She stared at me with the eyes I hated to see with tears. But I made it worse; more tears flowed out due to what I had just said. I turned around not wanting to see her. I myself wanted to kill me for hurting her more. I wanted to hurt myself for bringing more pain, suffering to what she was already having. I started walking but something held me back. It was a second before I took in what was happening. She was hugging me tightly. I had thought that after my insult she would leave. But no, she didn't. She hugged me and spoke in a barely audible whisper._

"_Why do you always do this? Are you really this insensitive about what others feel?" she said soaking my shirt wet._

_She pulled away and turned me to face her. I saw an angry look in her eyes. But I had no doubt that she was also tired of what was happening. _

"_Who do you think you are? You always call me mudblood. For your information, you have no right to call me that!" She yelled. _

"_I don't care if I hurt your little mudblood feelings. You're nothing but dirt to me," and then I left regretting every word I had just said._

_End of Flashback_

I stood walking back to my room. I took out an album from my side table and flipped it open. I saw all the stolen pictures I had taken of her secretly. I saw how she was pale in all my pictures. I realized that these pictures were taken after the incident.

Her face was very tired I noticed. She didn't wear her usual beautiful smile. The smiled I wanted to see again. I flipped the pages more until I reached the end of the album. I stared at it with questions in my mind.

_When did I take that?_

I saw a picture of me with her by my side. Out of all the pictures I looked at, this was the only one where she was smiling. She was smiling despite him being there with her. Suddenly, he recalled it being taken by a student he didn't remember. He just knew that it was an event that would take pictures of people. If you happen to stand by someone of the opposite sex, well lucky you! I smirked as I remembered what happened, wishing that it really happened just yesterday.

_Flashback_

"_What do you want?" I said menacingly at her. _

_I was so pissed that time because that Gryffindor boy, Thomas, kissed her. My blood boiled seeing her just blush at what he did. I remember running to their table and punching the boy square on the face. She pulled me away from the crowd and started to stare at me in bewilderment. _

"_What do I want? You just punched one of my fellow Gryffindors in the face without reason! How do you expect me to react to that?"_

"_Then don't react." I said before turning to leave._

"_What's your problem anyway? Dean didn't do anything to you! You always bug people, especially from my house!" _

"_Why I didn't know you noticed about that. I never knew you watched my moves, mudblood." I said with sarcasm dripping in my voice._

"_Why you –" she said before she was cut._

"_Caught you! Pose for a while and we shall take your picture whether you like it or not! This is going to be a nice picture, a Head boy and Head Girl picture." The student said._

_She stared at him for a moment and snapped back to what was happening. She calmed a bit and looked at me. I remember how close she was and smiled at the camera. I just placed a straight face until the picture was over. The student gave us both a copy and smiled merrily before leaving. I smirked at how he was so happy about just a photograph. I turned to face to the HEAD GIRL. She was looking at me, expecting an answer._

"_You really want to know why I hit that Thomas?" I said to her._

"_Yes." She said with a straight face._

"_Because your mine. You may be a mudblood. But you're my mudblood. Mine alone." I said. _

_She stared at me with shock. I knew she wasn't expecting that. I turned to leave her and went back to the Slytherin table._

_End of Flashback_

Months passed, I never heard anything from her. I still saw her with her friends smiling merrily at each other, but she didn't smile. I saw how she always wore a sad face. I even noticed how she was becoming less and less participative in her classes. Whenever we had double potions, she always ignores me even if I was her partner. I got frustrated but I let it pass. Imagine, me the kind of guy to let things pass just like air. I smirked inwardly.

I didn't admit it that time but I was very relieved seeing her talking to me again. But I never knew that that would be the last time I would be talking to her. I never knew it that I insulted her once more and pushed her away to her death.

_Flashback_

"_Help me please." She begged at me tugging my uniform._

"Didn't I tell you before mudblood? I would never help something as dirty as you." I said.

_I saw tears flow into her eyes. This time she didn't added or retorted anything. She just cried there. I restrained myself so that I would not hug her nor kiss her. I had a hard time telling myself that she was just a mudblood. But I was wrong. She wasn't just any mudblood. She was my mudblood. I owned her, I even told her that. But I never took care of her. _

_It was a while before she left me. I stared at her retreating back. I saw her pale hands shaking as she walked far away from me. I glanced at her not knowing that it would be the last time I would be._

_End of Flashback_

It was in the morning that the whole news reached all over Hogwarts. She committed suicide. I didn't let anybody see me but I shed a few tears. I hated myself for not helping her while I could. I was so stupid for not realizing that she needed me the most.

I remember as Dumbledore called upon me. The old coot gave me a letter. I stared at it before leaving. I didn't tell Dumbledore or anybody but up until now I didn't open the letter. Sure, there were times when the headmaster would ask if I had read it. He seemed to know that I have been lying that he constantly repeated asking me the same questions everyday. Graduation came and passed by; I never had the courage to open the letter still. I was stupid and a coward. I had always been one. I never had courage to fight. I never had the courage to be myself, knowing that my father would kill me if I did. It took my father to be taken to the Azkaban before I had gathered enough courage. But I knew it wasn't enough. It wasn't enough because up until now I have never had the courage to open her letter.

I realized that I needed to see what was it's content. I stood and grabbed the letter inside the side table. I shakily placed my hand over the seal. I tore the envelope slowly and looked at it. The content of the letter brought tears in my eyes.

_To my one and only tormentor Draco Malfoy, _

_Probably by now I have died. What a joy for you! You must be celebrating my death. Wait, but I know you probably didn't. Why? I had this feeling that it took you long for you to open the letter. Well, I always knew you were a coward. You might even tear this letter for me calling you a coward but still I'm telling the truth. You were a total coward because you were afraid of your father. You were so afraid that you didn't like the thought of helping me. You knew that your father would kill you knowing that you would help a mudblood like me. But guess what? You didn't have to worry about that. You would no longer have to help me since I'm dead. You know why I asked your helped instead of my friends? Because I knew they wouldn't understand. I knew that they didn't see what I have been suffering. The always thought that I was happy, but no. And I knew only you saw that. I knew that you saw through me. I knew that you saw my pain and sufferings. But still you didn't help me. You made me suffer. But I didn't mind. I was so stupid to think that my enemy would even help me with it. But sometimes I saw something in your eyes that you tried to hide. I saw how you wanted to really help me. That's the reason why I kept coming back for help. I knew that you would probably change, but no. I was wrong. You constantly pushed me away every time I asked for your help. Oh, there's another stupid thing I realized. It' s another reason why it made me think that you would help me. You said I was your mudblood. It probably meant that you own me. But you never showed any care. You know, I didn't know what got into my head that it suddenly realized that I was falling for you. Go ahead, spread it to everybody that little mudblood is in love with the Slytherin Prince. I don't mind. I don't have to face that anymore. I'm dead, remember? You can spread it for all I care, I don't mind at all. But to tell you the truth, I really hoped that you loved me too…_

_Love,  
Your little mudblood Hermione Granger_

He folded the paper back. More tears flowed from his eyes. He couldn't believe how stupid he was. He really hated himself for doing all those things to her. He couldn't believe that he had done that to her. He wanted to go back in time to take every mean thing he said to her. He wanted to hug her, kiss her, and show her that he loved her very much. But he can't now. She's gone and never coming back.

He became so stupid. He let his pride take over him instead of just loving her. He couldn't blame his father. Heck, he knew he could fight him but he didn't. He couldn't blame the others; he knew he just thought of his reputation instead of her. He wanted to hurt himself as much as how he hurt her. He wanted to feel the pain she felt. He wanted to feel the sufferings she had gone through. He wanted to help her now but he couldn't.

My stupidity caused her death. My stupidity caused her to leave and never come back. And now I regret everything I had done.

I then remember her words before she left me that time.

_You know Malfoy, one day you'll know, that this stupidity of yours comes with a partner._

_I stared at her._

_What? I asked._

_One day you'll realize that stupidity comes with regret; and with your stupidity, I know you'll have big regrets._


End file.
